Phase 1: Foundational Support (Sit Until Asleep)

The goal of this phase is for your child to experience the sensation of falling asleep in their own sleep space while sensing your calm, steady presence.

• The Routine: Complete a consistent, calming bedtime routine. Place your child in the crib or bed while they are fully awake.
• Your Position: Sit in a chair directly next to the crib. You want your child to see and sense your presence.
• The Interaction: Be a "boring" but present observer. Avoid picking the child up. If they become upset, use a neutral, low-key phrase like, "I know. Shhh. I'm right here. It’s time for sleep."
• Variation for Younger Babies: If your baby is under 6 months, you may start with more physical support (patting/shushing) while sitting. Over three nights, gradually reduce the intensity until you are sitting without contact.
• Duration: Stay in this phase for approximately three nights or until the child settles quickly with you simply sitting nearby.

Wait It Out: If they pop right back up immediately after you lie them down, stop intervening. They know how to lie down and are choosing not to. You must now wait for them to figure out how to settle themselves from this position. Continued intervention will likely turn this into a game.

Phase 2: Building Tolerance

Once your child is settling well with you by the crib, it is time to increase the "social distance." Choose the option that best fits your child's age.

Option A: The Gradual Fade (Best for Younger Babies)

• Every 2–3 Nights: Move your chair further away from the crib toward the door.
• Nights 4-6: Move chair to the middle of the room. Offer minimal verbal reassurance.
• Nights 7-9: Move chair to the doorway (inside or just outside).

Option B: The "Quick Errands" (Best for Older Babies/Toddlers)

• The Setup: Sit in the chair. After a few minutes, say, "I'll be right back, I'm going to [do a quick task]."
• The Exit: Step out for 10–30 seconds. Return before the child becomes overly distressed.
• The Return: Calmly return to the chair until they are asleep. Gradually lengthen these "errands" over several nights.

Phase 3: Independent Settling

By this stage, the child understands that they are safe and that you are nearby, even if you are not visible.

• The Exit: After the bedtime routine, place the child in the crib awake, say your "goodnight" phrase, and leave the room immediately.
• The Check-In: If the child protests, wait a short, predetermined period (e.g., 2–5 minutes). Return briefly to the doorway or side of the crib to offer a verbal reassurance.
• Keep it Brief: Check-ins should last less than a minute. Do not pick the child up. The goal is a "reset," not a return to Phase 1.

MOMally Tip

Consistency is your most powerful tool. If you choose a phase or variation, commit to it for at least three nights before adjusting. Your child is learning a new skill, and your calm, predictable response provides the safety they need to succeed.