One BIG Thing to Help Your Newborn Sleep: The Power of Curiosity

The early days of parenthood can feel like a marathon you never trained for. In the first few weeks and months, you are likely to employ every trick in the book to soothe your baby: wrapping, walking, bouncing, patting, shushing, and swaying. In the beginning, these methods are often necessary tools in your survival kit. However, there is one shift in perspective that can fundamentally change your sleep journey: Be Curious.

Your baby’s brain is growing at a staggering rate, forming synapses every second. Today’s baby is not the same person they were yesterday. To help your child learn to navigate sleep, you must eventually find the moments where you can do less.

Here is how you can cultivate curiosity to foster better sleep habits:

First, OBSERVE your own behavior.

Are you soothing on autopilot? We often do things out of reflex or a fear of potential crying. Ask yourself if you really need to replace that pacifier the moment it falls out, or if you are doing it because that is what worked last week. Do you truly need to pat, shush, and bounce simultaneously, or could you try removing one of those layers? Observe if your baby might be capable of being put down slightly awake today, rather than fully asleep. It is possible they still need every bit of help you are giving, but it is also possible you are doing more than they require.

Then, OBSERVE your baby.

Watch how they move their body and discover their voice. Their minds are working incredibly hard to decipher the world, which is why they need upwards of 16 hours of sleep a day. By watching closely, you will begin to notice subtle sleepy cues. These are the "golden windows" that indicate the optimal time to transition to sleep before overtiredness and adrenaline take over.

Third, LISTEN.

When your baby makes a sound, try to listen as if they are speaking a language you haven't mastered yet. If we immediately shush every whimper, we miss the opportunity to learn what they are trying to communicate. Try asking aloud, "What do you need?" and then wait. You might only be comfortable listening to a frustrated fuss for 10 seconds, but you will learn a lot in that interval. You may find that by second nine, your baby has finished their "thought" and settled themselves without any intervention at all.

In the first 90 days, a baby’s brain doubles in size. By staying curious, you ensure you aren't missing the new skills they have acquired and the independence they are ready to try.

MOMally Tip:

Start small by practicing "The Soothing Ladder." Before jumping to the most intensive soothing method (like picking up or feeding), start with the least intrusive—like a gentle hand on the chest or a soft shush—and wait a few seconds to see how your baby responds.

Disclaimer:

I am a certified sleep consultant and parenting coach, not a medical doctor. The information provided is for educational purposes and should not be taken as medical advice. Always consult with your pediatrician regarding your child's health and safety.