The Timed Checks Method
Building Confidence through Reassurance and Space
The Timed Checks Method, often referred to as "Graduated Extinction," is a structured approach designed to help your child develop the vital skill of self-soothing while maintaining the reassurance of your presence.
This method strikes a balance: you are not abandoning your child, but you are giving them the necessary space to discover their own capability to fall asleep. By gradually increasing the time between check-ins, you allow your baby to learn independent sleep habits in a predictable, supportive way.
Step 1: The Setup
Establish a Predictable Routine: Consistency acts as a cue for your baby's brain that sleep is coming. Whether it’s a bath, book, or song, keep the order consistent.
The "Fully Awake" Rule: Place your child in the crib while they are 100% awake. If they are "drowsy," you have done the hardest part of the work for them. They must be awake when they hit the mattress to learn how to fall asleep independently.
Step 2: The Intervals
When your child begins to protest at a significant level (scale of 4+ out of 10), start your timer. Use the chart below to determine how long to wait before offering a check.
| Day | Check 1 | Check 2 | Check 3 | Rem. Checks |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 3 min | 5 min | 7 min | 10 min |
| 2 | 5 min | 10 min | 12 min | 12 min |
| 3 | 10 min | 12 min | 15 min | 15 min |
| 4 | 12 min | 15 min | 17 min | 17 min |
| 5 | 15 min | 17 min | 20 min | 20 min |
(Scroll right to view full chart on mobile)
Step 3: The Check-In
The purpose of the check is to briefly reassure the child that you are there. It is not to put them to sleep.
- Keep it Brief: Stay for 1–2 minutes maximum. If your presence causes them to escalate, make it even shorter (10–20 seconds).
- Use Your Voice: Say, "I love you. I am here. It is time to sleep." Keep your tone confident and matter-of-fact.
- No Pick-Ups: Avoid picking the child up unless they need a diaper change or there is a safety issue.
- The Reset: If the baby is quiet for 45 seconds or more, reset the timer. If they start crying again, start the interval over.
FAQ: Night Wakings & Feeds
Night Wakings: If your child wakes in the night, repeat the process starting with the shortest interval for that specific night (Check #1).
Night Feeds: You do not have to night wean to sleep train. A common strategy is to apply Timed Checks to any waking before midnight. For the first waking after midnight, offer a feed immediately, then place the baby back in the crib awake to finish the night.
MOMally Tip
Your energy is the "thermostat" for the room. Babies seek safe boundaries. If you approach the check-in with authoritative, loving energy—believing that they are capable—they will feel that safety. If you are hesitant or guilty, they will feel unsafe. Fake the confidence until you make it!
Medical Disclaimer: I am a certified sleep consultant and parenting coach, not a medical doctor. The information provided is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your pediatrician regarding any medical condition or your child's health.